Thursday, September 11, 2014

Tracy Chapman - Fast Car

I used to listen to this song a lot as a kid. "Driving in a fast car" makes me think of a free life, one where the wind rushes through your hair and everything feels carefree and fun even if just for a while. But I never really felt like I belonged no matter where I was or what I did. I think it's just like that for some people. I never felt part of a group. In a lot of ways I've always had an anti-group mentality. But, on the other hand, there is a part of me that finds being a part of a gang or coven appealing, a family where you are totally accepted and loved. Maybe that is why I like shows and books about motorcycle gangs or covens and why I like to write about them. I guess I like the fantasy of having a group of close friends who are there for each other through thick and thin and then getting in a fast car (or on a fast motorcycle) and speeding so fast "like I was drunk..." It's a dream of belonging. "I had a feeling that I belonged. I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone..."